Would you like me to go with you?
Do you want me to go with you?
Which of the above questions sound more sincere and decisive?
I have made the decision to be more intentional with certain things in my life. One major area that I am focusing on is the way that I speak and the words that I use.
When someone starts off a question with Do you, I feel like there is a hint of obligation or regret behind it. When asked, Do you want me to go with you? I get the feeling that you may not really want to accompany me but will out of obligation. Where as, would you like me to go with you? sounds like you really would like to accompany me but ultimately leaving the decision up to me.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, Danielle you’re reading way too into this! I feel that if you become intentional about the words you use when speaking to someone, you will also be intentional about the things you do or don’t do in your life.
Being intentional with your words sets a standard in your life that you will say what you mean and mean what you say. There will be no more second guessing yourself, no more signing up for things you really don’t want to do and it leaves no room for conflict.
We are very comfortable with filler words that give us a tendency to sound unsure about ourselves and decision making. Filler words such as um, you know, and do you, take the pressure off of us and places it on the other person. When you start off with would you, it shows the person that you have already made a decision but are asking their opinion or etc. Where as starting off with do you tells the person that you are unsure and need them to make the decision for you.
Now, there are going to be instances where you will have to start off a question with do you, but when the opportunity presents itself, try your hardest to be intentional about the words you use.
I would love to hear your opinion, comment below!