I have made the decision to be more transparent with this Blog. The main reason I want to do this, is because my goal in life is to help as many people in any way that I can. The only way to do that is by being honest and transparent.
This Blog post is based on my own experience and research, I am by no means a medical professional. Please seek help from a physician if you feel that you are depressed and need help. For more information click here.
Depression or Sadness…..
” It is more than simply feeling sad as many people tend to confuse depression with sadness.”
According to the American Psychiatric Association website, Depression is defined as a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. It is more than simply feeling sad as many people tend to confuse depression with sadness. This confusion leaves many with Depression feeling Isolated and doomed because no one quite understands what they are dealing with.
Signs of Depression…
The CDC Website, list the signs of depression as :
- Feeling sad or anxious often or all the time
- Not wanting to do activities that used to be fun
- Feeling irritable‚ easily frustrated‚ or restless
- Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
- Waking up too early or sleeping too much
- Eating more or less than usual or having no appetite
- Experiencing aches, pains, headaches, or stomach problems that do not improve with treatment
- Having trouble concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions
- Feeling tired‚ even after sleeping well
- Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless
- Thinking about suicide or hurting yourself
I started showing signs of depression at the age of 15. I remember constantly feeling Irritated and down but for absolutely no reason. I called it a spirit of heaviness that just came upon me out of nowhere and I couldn’t pull myself out of it. I absolutely hated myself because it made me feel weird and I wondered why I couldn’t be like everyone else. I then developed anxiety and a feeling of being worthless.
“As time went on I became suicidal and my mind was filled with thoughts of hurting myself to relieve the pain.”
These feelings of worthlessness caused me to become someone that I had very little respect for. I didn’t care about my life or what happened to me. There was no thought of repercussion or consequence. The decisions that I made put my in very dangerous situations. I walked around very angry ,thought I hid it well, and had no Idea of how to deal with my emotions.
As time went on I became suicidal and my mind was filled with thoughts of hurting myself to relieve the pain. The pain I felt wasn’t physical but an overwhelming emotion that didn’t have a name. I remember that I had to go on my senior trip in school with a bandage on my hand to cover my stitches, because the night prior I tried to kill myself.
Why am I writing this Blog post….
Like my classmates on the senior trip were oblivious to what happened the night prior there are many people walking around with similar stories. Like I was, they are suffering in silence. I didn’t want anyone to judge me and I was afraid to ask for help. I couldn’t figure out how to put what i was feeling into words so I stayed silent.
I cannot remember the exact day but I decided I no longer wished to live like that. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to feel Joy, I want to feel peace. I did go to counseling and speaking with the Therapist really brought clarity to the situation. She was able to help me figure my way out of the fog.
Though it wasn’t an instant cure, it definitely put me on the path to wanting better for my life. I wish I could say my life drastically changed after that but it was a process. A process that also included me finding out about Jesus.
Jesus and Depression….
I will go to the grave proclaiming that Jesus saved my life. He literally saved my life! I began a journey of getting to know him and reading his word. I remember those nights of staying awake days on end crying my eyes out until I learned to pick up my Bible whenever I felt down.
” There are three things that brought me out of depression and are keeping me happy “
Verses like 2 Timothy 1:7 – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind, kept me in check, my God gives me a sound mind. He gives me peace and Joy; all I have to do is seek him and he is there.
There are three things that brought me out of depression and are keeping me happy:
- Reading my Bible and going to Church
- Changing my outlook on life
- Being determined to live a better life
I am determined to live my life the best way I can every single day. I am determined to not let depression take over my life. I am determined to help as many people as I can in any way that I can!
Like I said previously, I am by no way saying anything against getting medical help. I strongly suggest anyone dealing with depression to seek help, I did and it put me on the right path. I am also saying that the love of Jesus is powerful. He can change your life in ways that you can never imagined.
I hope this was helpful! Please remember you are not alone and you don’t have to deal with what you’re going through by yourself. Just ask for help.
Depression and Suicide: Getting Help in a Crisis
Some people who are depressed may think about hurting themselves or committing suicide (taking their own life). If you or someone you know is having thoughts about hurting themselves or committing suicide‚ please seek immediate help. The following resources can help:
- Call 1−800−273−TALK (8255) to reach a 24−hour crisis center or dial 911. 1−800−273−TALK is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which provides free‚ confidential help to people in crisis. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration runs this lifeline.
- Call your mental health provider.
- Get help from your primary doctor or other health care provider.
- Reach out to a close friend or loved one.
- Contact a minister, spiritual leader, or someone else in your faith community.