I have a story due for workshop in 7 days and I’ve started two stories and hate both of them. Hate is a strong word, I just don’t think they are any good. I’m in a weird place in my life where I feel like I’m not fully expressing all that I want to say. I am a Christian woman who has a lengthy “colorful” past and I don’t know where to pull inspiration from.
On one hand I want to write encouraging things for people but I always feeling like that type of story is incomplete. When I try, it usually comes off as very preachy and bottom line I just don’t feel holy enough to write that way. Then on the other hand, I want write about things from my dark past and I feel guilty writing about that type of subject matter as the situations and words are not the most holy. I’m trying to figure out how to reconcile the two.
In everything I do I always think about how am I representing the kingdom. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get it right to bring glory to God. You would think the workshop should help me but it’s a weird predicament. I am usually the only christian in the workshop so my classmates express their world views freely and everyone is supportive and offers good feedback to them. I seldom tell them about my situation and conflicting feelings out of fear that they will judge me and probably have no way of helping me as they don’t know what it’s like.
Maybe that’s it, maybe I’m not giving them enough credit and should share my struggle and see what they say. I am in no way ashamed of God I just don’t … I don’t know what it is in all honesty. Maybe I need to give them the benefit of the doubt, it is a workshop after all, we’re supposed to work through these issues.
Do any of you have any tips to get through writer’s block or by chance anyone struggling with the same issue of finding your voice? I’d love to hear your opinions.
As for now I’m going to continue to seek God for clarity on this situation. I pray you all have a blessed day and If you are ever in need of prayer just leave a comment below. I’m always willing to stand in agreement with my brother’s and sister’s Christ.