The Guise of being good…

   Guise, defined as an external form, appearance, or manner of presentation, typically concealing the true nature of something. 

    Most of my life, I’ve tried my hardest to be seen and perceived as a good person. For a while that became my main focus regardless of what I was feeling on the inside. If anyone would see me any other way that would make me upset. The truth, though I am genuinely good to people, inside I was not good to myself. I walked and burned with anger at how empty I felt inside for a long time. Someone who through the act of sex was used, abused and comforted by it. Disgusted with how I saw myself and in fear of how people would judge me.

“We take ourselves out of the game when we ignore the pull of God on us to change and go into this world smiling…”

    The guise of being good kept me from addressing what I was doing as wrong and kept me from the reality of the consequences of my sin.  I tried for so long to deny the emptiness I felt in the midst of a crowd of people. The emptiness I felt telling someone I loved them when I didn’t truly understand the meaning of it. The exchange of sex for temporary relief of nagging feeling of unworthiness pulling at my existence.

    But God, all of us who have committed sexual sin have hidden behind being good people for too long. It hurts us and keeps us in bondage. You can be good and still be dying on the inside. To the best of my ability I have never intentionally hurt anyone but the trick of the enemy is for us not to realize that we are hurting ourselves. 

    The enemy can’t kill you, he does not have that power, if he did he would take us all out in an instant. What he can do is use us to take ourselves and each other out. We take ourselves out of the game when we ignore the pull of God on us to change and go into this world smiling. So for those of us who struggled, are struggling or will struggle with sexual sin, fornication, masterbation, homosexuality etc. We are genuinely good people, we love, we care and we are passionate about people, so passionate that our wires get crossed at times. This truth hurts to hear because we are forced to realize that everything is not okay. 

“Sometimes the easiest thing to do is the hardest. Address what you are feeling instead of hiding it, drinking it away, cutting yourself and wanting to the die…”

      Before we get mad when we hear statements like this we must stop and look at why it gets us upset. Has the guise of being good not only fooled the world but fooled ourselves. This sin camp we have made a home in are we truly happy. 

      The true power of God is that he is able to overcome EVERYTHING that we are dealing with. Changing isn’t hard and it’s necessary. I remember I walked away from someone who I cared deeply for  but I couldn’t ignore that the foundation of our relationship was built on sin. As hard as it was to walk away, as hard as it was to see myself as pure once I got saved, as hard as it was for others to see me as pure although they knew of my past, it was still very much worth it. 

    Sometimes the easiest thing to do is the hardest. Address what you are feeling instead of hiding it, drinking it away, cutting yourself and wanting to the die. There is a passage in the bible, Luke 16:19-31, where a wealthy man called out to Abraham, who is in heaven, from hell to warn his brothers not to make the mistakes he made. This passage astounded me not only because of the underlying message of the passage but the simple fact that you are able to see heaven from hell.

“There is a God and there is a devil that the bible calls crafty in the ways he tries to fool us into not believing how simple it is to bask in the unending love of God that he feels we are not worthy of experiencing…”

    We hear of hell and think fire and burning and pain but I think the true pain is being able to see it whilst enduring fire when getting to heaven was so simple. Most people end up going to hell not realizing how simple it would have been to be on the other side. Jesus said it over and over again, “only believe.”  From the beginning of time the enemy complicates God’s simple commands making them seem difficult. 

    For Adam and Eve the command was not to eat of the tree or you will die, the enemy complicates it suggesting that you won’t die but be like God knowing good and Evil. Our Command is to simply “believe in our Lord, Jesus,” the enemy suggest to most all we need to do is be good or that we can’t see God therefore he can’t possibly exist; also with all the evil in this world how could there be a God? 

     There is a God and there is a devil that the bible calls crafty in the ways he tries to fool us into not believing how simple it is to bask in the unending love of God of which he feels we are not worthy of experiencing. I imagine there are many in hell calling out to loved ones left behind to only believe. How can God let people go to hell who are genuinely good but were tricked by the devil? It’s called free will and the ability to choose to believe, to choose to believe he is greater and able to overcome any and everything that you are dealing with. To choose not to ignore messages like this one, you are reading it for a reason.

      I don’t deny that any of us that lived or/are living in sexual sin don’t love the people that we are in relations with but their is a love that trumps all of that and it is the love of Christ. We are meant to do things the right way, God’s way. You can’t deny that he is able to do it because there are many who have turned away from their sin and are living happy and whole. The trouble is that people like me who have been freed from sin keep silent and don’t allow God to use us as remnants of his goodness and his ability but today I have decided to stop being selfish, stop being ashamed and walk FULLY in my truth. 

     Your body should be saved for you husband/wife, a holy union is that of one man and one woman, this is the truth that can’t be denied and we know it deep inside. I also want to state that those who have been freed and choose to point fingers and dehumanize those who are struggling with these things, just a reminder that you need to re-evaluate yourself and remember who you serve and how much he loves his creation. He did not send us here to condemn or judge one another but to offer a hand to those who are struggling. To love on them, listen to them and turn the other cheek when they get mad at the truth that we speak. 

      Beloved you’re loved , you are God’s greatest creation and you have the ability and God has the strength to bring you through this. 

Love, 

Danielle

 

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